Forgive me

I have been away for a couple of weeks from blogging and from SL due to some RL issues. I now have the opportunity to return and I hope that both people that read this 'blog will forgive my absence.

While I was gone to the RL that we all say comes first, I found that those people that I know in SL were not far from my thoughts. I had a chance to think of what I wanted to do with the precious time that I have to spend in SL, because for me the time is rare. and special.

I have wandered around SL and shopped and tried out new things. I have watched for the last six months and I have discovered that I have been talking about things, talking about the difference between rl and sl, but really...in sl I have been a voyeur. I have always been suspicious about voyeurs, believing them to be people that want the reflected glory without getting their hands dirty. My conclusion? What I have managed to do as well was to cheat myself. To deprive myself of experiences by just watching and not participating.

This realization came to me when I wandered onto a sim, wearing a meter in OOC mode to watch the RP. What I walked into was a firefight of some sort. Just watching I had an adrenaline rush and I thought...why am I just watching? Why am I not a part of this?

I have struggled with the moral issue of wearing 2 collars, one in rl and one in sl and have for so long thought that this dichotomy would be far too difficult for me to resolve. Turns out the issue is far easier to resolve than I thought. I spoke with my rl Master. I have parameters, (no rl, ever)

For months I have criticized those who teach about bdsm in SL without any real knowledge of rl bdsm. I have gone to their lectures and classes and noticed that those I could relate to had their roots, their knowledge in RL. They were able to enjoy SL as full participants, why couldn't I?

In rl ,if I wanted to learn to sail, I did, to play tennis, I did, to play golf I did(bored to tears, but I did.) What has been holding me back from divng in to sl and truly experiencing it to its fullest extent? Maybe a fear of failure, maybe a fear of drowning...maybe I just was not ready. Maybes ...rl and sl are full of them...Maybe I should just find out.

A bit of a rest~

I recently ran into my friend Jake. Neither of us have been in world much and the times that we have did not coincide. Imagine my delight when I had the opportunity to spend time with him?

We had some time exploring a few sims,just cuddled and talked...
Frankly, I needed that...even fairys need a a place to rest aside from a flower.

Why the RLV is not for this submissive...fairy or not...

This may cause a bit of controversy, but after all, a 'blog is just one person's humble opinion. This 'blog happens to be my humble opinion. So now I think I should say a bit about why the RLV is not for me.


For me, submission is the gift that keeps on giving. It is an ongoing process of something called a power exchange. Within the relationship, the giving is constant. As much as I love being dragged around on a leash or in other ways controlled in some manner. The fact that my consent is not longer needed cheapens it for me. For one thing, when I am being dragged around on a leash I relax and let the leash holder do the work. Why would I be any different in the RLV?


So, for me the RLV would have the same result... allowing me to relax and let the dominant do all of the work, in every aspect of the relationship. In giving up the need to follow direction, to have to act in order to obey, all meaning would eventually be lost for me. I have heard that being in the RLV is very relaxing for the submissive, taking away all of those pesky decisions. I have no doubt that I would like it, but it would make me lazy and if enough choices were made for me instead of my having to comply with those choices, actively..then my real submission, what makes me...well...me, would be lost.


To put it simply the difference between how I view submission and how those that enjoy the RLV is the same for me as the difference between active vs. passive submission.


Allow me to ask this question of a dominant...

Which would you prefer:

A. Press a button and have me kneeling at your feet or placing me in a cage, in some way directing my actions with a stroke of the keys. Would you like to cut off my ability to speak to someone that had displeased you or you thought was not good for me.

B. Direct my actions with a word or a flick of the wrist, and my actively complying with your whim or wishes. Would you like to tell me that I am not to speak to a person, consequentially, I place him/her on mute after informing them that my Master had instructed me to do so.

For me, the choice is clear...

It is up to you to make the choice for yourself.


I know that the RLV is not static and the control is on a scale from mild to extremely restrictive. So if I were with a Master who wished to use it or wanted to try it, I would. It is my dearest hope that he would continue to value my opinion in this matter.

Maybe the real difference comes from living in a rl D/s relationship. My submission is not something that can be controlled by a button, I must give myself each and every day. In sl, to truly be the submissive I am, I would have to do the same.

RLV~ One fairy's view ~ First an introduction...

First of all, I am not saying that the RLV is not for anyone in particular, just not for me. Please allow me to explain as simply as possible this intricate device. Be prepared, the explanation of the device may be longer than my explanation of why it is not for me. So in this post I will attempt to explain the workings of the RLV, in the next one I will explain my feelings about it.


The RLV~

The RLV is the Restrained Life Viewer. Originally created by Marine Kelley, it is a customized viewer that gives dominants a far greater level of control over their submissives. This modification of the second life viewer makes it possible for restrictions to be placed on subs that are simply not possible with the normal viewer.


Actually, just running the viewer makes the restrictions possible but nothing will happen unless you also wear an item that places restrictions on you.

With RLV restrictions IMs may be blocked, both incoming and outgoing, or IMs may only be allowed from certain individuals. It can block your ability to send or receive messages in chat. The effect? (Gag's, blindfolds and earplugs can now be 100% effective)


It can block the ability to send messages on alternate channels ...such as the use of emoters or other devices that relay text or accept commands(an exception list is possible.) There is a command that can also block the text from appearing over people's heads, in the chat window, so that the submissive may have no idea who they are talking to. If the dominant so chooses, you cannot open note cards. If you have note cards open when this is locked they will be closed at that time.


Sitting may be blocked, this is in two modes: you may not be able to SIT at all, or you must be within 1.5m of an item in order to SIT...or it can force sitting, locking you in place so you cannot stand, force you to sit on an item, no matter what your feelings are.


RLV can make any item undetachable, blocking the ability to wear clothes, allowing the dominant to forcibly remove clothes, or forcibly remove any attached item. There is a command that allows the owner to get a listing of all attachments and all clothes. This includes items attached to your hud. When an item is "locked"such as a collar you cannot unlock it or detach it, the menu options are gone, if you try to right click on them. Your inventory may be locked down so that you cannot open your inventory window. Marine Kelley also provides a free script that can be added to the contents of ANY item to give it the ability to be locked by the dominant.

Building may be blocked, as well as edit tools being locked and blocking the ability to rez objects.


Logins may be limited to your last location. So you cannot escape whatever predicament you may have been in by simply logging out then back in world in a different location..

The ability to TP may be blocked, or limited to specific landmarks, or allow you to TP only when invited by specific individuals. There is even a "force TP".. this feature allows the dominant to forcibly send the submissive anywhere in SL. No asking, no chance of complying or refusing, no discussion, just "poof" there you are, in the middle of a Gorean Sim, a nightclub, or a gangbang, at the whim of the dominant in control.

There are some really clever products designed to be used with the RLV...still, all choice is gone, with the RLV. Perfect for a bottom, but in my opinion, not for a submissive, at least not this one.



Why? I will explain soon...

Secret Spots...

Well, in my wanderings I have found some places that are refining the rp. Not certain how much they want known about them. So I will say that they are out there, developing storylines. and you can find them if you want!

Some are tucked away in small spots, sort of a hub from which to base RP from and go out into the Gorean world. Not everything is as it appears to be on these sims. Peaceful villages might conceal the most dastardly of characters!

So, grab a Gorean Meter, go out and explore!

I give up!!

Well, I tried and tried to find some man that I know to go through this hunt with me...but NOOOO!

It seems that for the most part, Dominants resent the idea of being made over. Some flatly refused, others were a bit more diplomatic about it.

It happens I do not know any submissive men, not because I do not want to. I just seem to be the sort of girl that attracts and is drawn toward Dominants...

So I came to this conclusion:

I love/like the people that I do because of who they are and part of who they are happens to the choices that they have made. That includes clothing, attachments, skin, shape, etc. Those unique choices and combinations are what make them who they are...

I am not a switch, and I most certainly am not looking for a Dom that will serve my needs or wants...

Why fight it?

It is not like most of them need it anyway...

A sigh of relief...

I have not been on line much lately. Only in short bursts. Devil of it is that rl sometimes really does come first, grrrrrr.

Imagine my surprise when I notice that my close friend Jake has placed a girl in his profile as “interesting” Actually, I think that he referred to "hidden depths". I was struck with a pang when I read that. What was the pang, I wondered? Surely, not jealousy?? I have prided myself on not being jealous. But could it be?

Actually it was not anger with him or the girl that struck me, it was a sense of loss. He has taught me so much, been so kind to me that I did not want that to stop. He has held me when I was confused and helped me to gain some perspective on my life in sl. OK yes, he has spanked me when I needed that too!

What do I care about other women? I never have before, (and there is a cast of thousands)why would I now?

I gathered myself together and sent an IM to him, though he was not on-line. The next time he was, evidently, I received a message from him (sort of a high tech fone tag?) The jist is that his on-line time has been curtailed and will be for a while, as well. Yes, there is a girl, but that has nothing to do with, and will not interfere with, his relationships with me or the other people who are so special to him. (Well I am paraphrasing, but that was the drift)

Now I can relax and return to my fairy ways, when I am able to be in world again, more often. I miss the people I care about so much. The are like rare gems that sparkle in the moonlight…precious to me. I just hope that they know how much they mean to me

Me too!

For the first time I altered one of my posts. It was pointed out to me that I was being unfair, and I have to agree. Seems I have been a cranky fairy as of late. Blame it on being sick in rl couch* cough*. Whatever the reason there is no excuse. I beg your pardon. Back to more positive posts in the future!...Now for my amended offering...

Recently, I attended another class at the D/s academy, the subject being poly, and how each participant was handling it. There were more combinations than you would have thought possible. When a Dominant is dealing with more than one girl, it is a delicate balance. Both in rl and in sl.
A Master or Dom handling more than one girl has many problems that may crop up. Sometimes it is a simple matter of personalities not meshing, sometimes it is much more insidious. There is a particular type of submissive that I like to call the "me too" I would like to address in this post.
"Me too" submissives tout their individuality, they want to be treated as the special person that they are. Nothing wrong with that right? Ahh, but here is the catch! They do not want the same for the other girl that may be in the relationship. In other words, she wishes to be treated uniquely, but also wishes to have whatever treatment given to her sister, bestowed upon her...a nearly impossible task unless dealing with a clone.
The dominant has the very difficult task of trying to balance the submissives in his care. It is not that I feel sympathy for his plight. However I do empathize. A "me too" may also me called, "MeMeMe" and is little more than a cleverly disguised passive aggressive manipulator in submissive gear.

She may be difficult to spot, because she usually tells all and sundry what a wonderful submissive she is. So here is a clue:
If she discovers that you have something that you share with another submissive in your care and she insists that the exact same is done for her...she is a "me too submissive"


Only advice I have for a Dom meeting this sub is this: Buyer beware!

(PS I am NOT a Me too submissive...I promise!)

Both Sides of the Looking Glass

By chance, I was lucky enough to attend a talk lead by Havelock Raymaker, a RL Dominant and tutor for the organizers, the D/s Academy. The discussion was held partially in voice and partially in text, at first I had a few glitches, but after that was worked out I have to say that I was impressed by the speaker and the others attending. The topic? Is there such a thing as abuse in SL and if so what forms do you think it takes ?

The discussion reminded me of so many that I have been to in rl. I found the participants thoughtful, and reasonable. The original topic soon turned toward the responsibility of both parties in a D/s relationship. The care that is taken to keep the trust of the submissive from becoming abusive. The key being communication.

The talk was over far too soon! I am happy to have stumbled upon the meeting and hope to attend more in the future!

While I am on the subject of good dominants...

Last night, I happened to catch my good friend Jake after he had been toying with a submissive elsewhere. Now, he and I have a very playful relationship. However I have a slight tendency to push his buttons once in a while.Well, it seems that last night he was in more of a mood to push back and finally...I received a well-deserved spanking. I am not an owned submissive, I am not anyone's property, however last night I was totally in his thrall. I begged, pleaded, cajoled, bargained, whined, wheedled, squirmed, cried and tried everything else in my fairy bag of tricks...all to no avail.~Sighs, happily~ Sometimes a fairy just needs a good spanking. Even a sweet reasonable, level headed fairy, such as myself!

What makes a Dominant the wrong one for you?

I was recently in a discussion with a submissive about Dominants and the several that have offered her collars over the last few years. The subject turned to signs that the Dominant is not going to work for her. She said that one glaring sign was when a Dominant had picked out a collar for her and then told her to go buy it. Now that would pretty much do it for me, too!

What would be the light bulb moment for you? Or what are the signs of a bad Dominant either for you or for anyone?

In a more positive vein,send anything that would be a sign of someone being right for you. Or rather, what YOU see as the qualities of a "good" Dominant.

Please feel free to send your suggestions here or in notecards or Ims, I will be happy to compile and publish them later