Forgive me

I have been away for a couple of weeks from blogging and from SL due to some RL issues. I now have the opportunity to return and I hope that both people that read this 'blog will forgive my absence.

While I was gone to the RL that we all say comes first, I found that those people that I know in SL were not far from my thoughts. I had a chance to think of what I wanted to do with the precious time that I have to spend in SL, because for me the time is rare. and special.

I have wandered around SL and shopped and tried out new things. I have watched for the last six months and I have discovered that I have been talking about things, talking about the difference between rl and sl, but really...in sl I have been a voyeur. I have always been suspicious about voyeurs, believing them to be people that want the reflected glory without getting their hands dirty. My conclusion? What I have managed to do as well was to cheat myself. To deprive myself of experiences by just watching and not participating.

This realization came to me when I wandered onto a sim, wearing a meter in OOC mode to watch the RP. What I walked into was a firefight of some sort. Just watching I had an adrenaline rush and I thought...why am I just watching? Why am I not a part of this?

I have struggled with the moral issue of wearing 2 collars, one in rl and one in sl and have for so long thought that this dichotomy would be far too difficult for me to resolve. Turns out the issue is far easier to resolve than I thought. I spoke with my rl Master. I have parameters, (no rl, ever)

For months I have criticized those who teach about bdsm in SL without any real knowledge of rl bdsm. I have gone to their lectures and classes and noticed that those I could relate to had their roots, their knowledge in RL. They were able to enjoy SL as full participants, why couldn't I?

In rl ,if I wanted to learn to sail, I did, to play tennis, I did, to play golf I did(bored to tears, but I did.) What has been holding me back from divng in to sl and truly experiencing it to its fullest extent? Maybe a fear of failure, maybe a fear of drowning...maybe I just was not ready. Maybes ...rl and sl are full of them...Maybe I should just find out.

Secret Spots...

Well, in my wanderings I have found some places that are refining the rp. Not certain how much they want known about them. So I will say that they are out there, developing storylines. and you can find them if you want!

Some are tucked away in small spots, sort of a hub from which to base RP from and go out into the Gorean world. Not everything is as it appears to be on these sims. Peaceful villages might conceal the most dastardly of characters!

So, grab a Gorean Meter, go out and explore!

For my friends...

I did not realize until shortly after my last posting about Gor that I would get feedback so very fast.



Several people immediately felt that my posting meant that I may be in search of a Gorean collar. I was surprised by this. After having said, so many times, that I have a problem with being in the collar of different people, in different worlds. (rl/sl)

Gor~

As much as I have loved being on Gor in the past, I am not sure that it is possible for me to be a woman on Gor without wearing a collar of some sort. Well, I have no interest in being a FW or a Panther, and I certainly have no interest in changing my gender! I put so much of myself into the role that I play, even in RP that it can be a bit disturbing, and is not simply a game where I am disengaged from the avi.

For the moment, I am wandering around Gor, when I have the chance. I am not sure where any of this will lead. One thing I learned long ago is never to say never. However, at the moment I like who I am, and where I am, so it is highly unlikely that I would want to change anything about my circumstance.

I give up!!

Well, I tried and tried to find some man that I know to go through this hunt with me...but NOOOO!

It seems that for the most part, Dominants resent the idea of being made over. Some flatly refused, others were a bit more diplomatic about it.

It happens I do not know any submissive men, not because I do not want to. I just seem to be the sort of girl that attracts and is drawn toward Dominants...

So I came to this conclusion:

I love/like the people that I do because of who they are and part of who they are happens to the choices that they have made. That includes clothing, attachments, skin, shape, etc. Those unique choices and combinations are what make them who they are...

I am not a switch, and I most certainly am not looking for a Dom that will serve my needs or wants...

Why fight it?

It is not like most of them need it anyway...