This may cause a bit of controversy, but after all, a 'blog is just one person's humble opinion. This 'blog happens to be my humble opinion. So now I think I should say a bit about why the RLV is not for me.
For me, submission is the gift that keeps on giving. It is an ongoing process of something called a power exchange. Within the relationship, the giving is constant. As much as I love being dragged around on a leash or in other ways controlled in some manner. The fact that my consent is not longer needed cheapens it for me. For one thing, when I am being dragged around on a leash I relax and let the leash holder do the work. Why would I be any different in the RLV?
So, for me the RLV would have the same result... allowing me to relax and let the dominant do all of the work, in every aspect of the relationship. In giving up the need to follow direction, to have to act in order to obey, all meaning would eventually be lost for me. I have heard that being in the RLV is very relaxing for the submissive, taking away all of those pesky decisions. I have no doubt that I would like it, but it would make me lazy and if enough choices were made for me instead of my having to comply with those choices, actively..then my real submission, what makes me...well...me, would be lost.
To put it simply the difference between how I view submission and how those that enjoy the RLV is the same for me as the difference between active vs. passive submission.
Allow me to ask this question of a dominant...
Which would you prefer:
A. Press a button and have me kneeling at your feet or placing me in a cage, in some way directing my actions with a stroke of the keys. Would you like to cut off my ability to speak to someone that had displeased you or you thought was not good for me.
B. Direct my actions with a word or a flick of the wrist, and my actively complying with your whim or wishes. Would you like to tell me that I am not to speak to a person, consequentially, I place him/her on mute after informing them that my Master had instructed me to do so.
For me, the choice is clear...
It is up to you to make the choice for yourself.
I know that the RLV is not static and the control is on a scale from mild to extremely restrictive. So if I were with a Master who wished to use it or wanted to try it, I would. It is my dearest hope that he would continue to value my opinion in this matter.
Maybe the real difference comes from living in a rl D/s relationship. My submission is not something that can be controlled by a button, I must give myself each and every day. In sl, to truly be the submissive I am, I would have to do the same.
For me, submission is the gift that keeps on giving. It is an ongoing process of something called a power exchange. Within the relationship, the giving is constant. As much as I love being dragged around on a leash or in other ways controlled in some manner. The fact that my consent is not longer needed cheapens it for me. For one thing, when I am being dragged around on a leash I relax and let the leash holder do the work. Why would I be any different in the RLV?
So, for me the RLV would have the same result... allowing me to relax and let the dominant do all of the work, in every aspect of the relationship. In giving up the need to follow direction, to have to act in order to obey, all meaning would eventually be lost for me. I have heard that being in the RLV is very relaxing for the submissive, taking away all of those pesky decisions. I have no doubt that I would like it, but it would make me lazy and if enough choices were made for me instead of my having to comply with those choices, actively..then my real submission, what makes me...well...me, would be lost.
To put it simply the difference between how I view submission and how those that enjoy the RLV is the same for me as the difference between active vs. passive submission.
Allow me to ask this question of a dominant...
Which would you prefer:
A. Press a button and have me kneeling at your feet or placing me in a cage, in some way directing my actions with a stroke of the keys. Would you like to cut off my ability to speak to someone that had displeased you or you thought was not good for me.
B. Direct my actions with a word or a flick of the wrist, and my actively complying with your whim or wishes. Would you like to tell me that I am not to speak to a person, consequentially, I place him/her on mute after informing them that my Master had instructed me to do so.
For me, the choice is clear...
It is up to you to make the choice for yourself.
I know that the RLV is not static and the control is on a scale from mild to extremely restrictive. So if I were with a Master who wished to use it or wanted to try it, I would. It is my dearest hope that he would continue to value my opinion in this matter.
Maybe the real difference comes from living in a rl D/s relationship. My submission is not something that can be controlled by a button, I must give myself each and every day. In sl, to truly be the submissive I am, I would have to do the same.
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The RLV, like most everything else in SL (i.e. poseballs, a whip that is held, the Gorean Meter...fairy wings even) is a tool that can be used to enhance a scene. For instance, how exciting would it be if your Dominant took you some place - and you did not know where you were? Or could not read the names of those around you? Even in the chat window? Something of this nature can drastically increase the feeling of being dependent on the only person you can recognize. Or perhaps you are blindfolded, and are taking to a place you frequent, but with show location disabled, and names disabled, you don't know this. People you know are all about you, talking to you, and you have absolutely no idea who they are.
ReplyDeleteThe problem comes, as with every other tool, when people rely solely on the tool, and forgo the rest of it.
I agree with what you have said about the RLV beng a tool. I also agree the this tool serves many in sl well.
ReplyDeleteMy problem is this. Who is being served? It feels to me that this is a lot of work done in serving the needs of a submissive. Does this serve the needs of a Dominant in a relationship? It really depends on the individuals involved.
BR> However, the impression I have is that it serves the need that some submissives for tight controls, and for being forced.
For me, that would put me n a victims role, passive in my submission. Not having to risk my ego and setting aside my own needs for that of the Dominant.
One view is not better than the other, just different.
Hello Pippa, i took the rlv for the feelings of safety and security it gave me. i ceded my control of self to my Mistress. i gave away my money and clothing for the same reason. i have read and re-read your enrty and i admire you for your strong opinions. For me, there is not an ego question nor do i wish to be a victim. i wished to belong to my Mistress and i feel more completely hers with the rlv.
ReplyDeleteall my love,
butterfly