Saturday, May 2, 2009

While I am on the subject of good dominants...

Last night, I happened to catch my good friend Jake after he had been toying with a submissive elsewhere. Now, he and I have a very playful relationship. However I have a slight tendency to push his buttons once in a while.Well, it seems that last night he was in more of a mood to push back and finally...I received a well-deserved spanking. I am not an owned submissive, I am not anyone's property, however last night I was totally in his thrall. I begged, pleaded, cajoled, bargained, whined, wheedled, squirmed, cried and tried everything else in my fairy bag of tricks...all to no avail.~Sighs, happily~ Sometimes a fairy just needs a good spanking. Even a sweet reasonable, level headed fairy, such as myself!

Friday, May 1, 2009

What makes a Dominant the wrong one for you?

I was recently in a discussion with a submissive about Dominants and the several that have offered her collars over the last few years. The subject turned to signs that the Dominant is not going to work for her. She said that one glaring sign was when a Dominant had picked out a collar for her and then told her to go buy it. Now that would pretty much do it for me, too!

What would be the light bulb moment for you? Or what are the signs of a bad Dominant either for you or for anyone?

In a more positive vein,send anything that would be a sign of someone being right for you. Or rather, what YOU see as the qualities of a "good" Dominant.

Please feel free to send your suggestions here or in notecards or Ims, I will be happy to compile and publish them later

Monday, April 27, 2009

Bubble dancing

I often recieve messages as notecards or IMs when I log into world, that are to do with this 'blog. It usually surprises me, since I assume that I am one of the 3 readers. The comment that I cherish the most was a quick IM complimenting the accuracy, and fairness of a recent, if not somewhat controversial couple of postings (I really do try to be sound unbiased.)
It is not as if I care if I upset a few people, because I find vitriolic diatribe so very tiresome. Something inside of me cannot help but point out the blatant inconsistency of slamming people with undercover alts when that same person not only has them, but threatens people with them as well. Comon, anyone coming from an RP background, would be used to people having several alts. It was not until I came to sl that I found that this was an issue.
Writing a 'blog is a bit like dancing on a bubble. Any moment those screeching contradiction of statements might poke through and all will *pop* There goes credibility! I am happy to tell readers how I think or feel. I just do not want anyone to think that if they do not agree with me, I will denigrate them in pixels. This is not a bully pulpit. It is strictly a chronicle of my journey through sl.

There is plenty of room for all of the choices we have. I think that we should stop worrying about what others are doing and just relax and have fun!

Oh and the bubbles that I am sitting on are available at a place called Happymood. You can find all sorts of delightfully fun objects for the well appointed fairy, nymph or just for fun !

Sunday, April 26, 2009

My kink is better than yours!

Let's face it, we are all wired differently. What makes blood rush thru my veins at a great clip...could very well leave someone else cold. (I doubt it, but it could happen!) So many choices, so little time!
Checklists are available that cover almost every activity/kink imaginable...and some that are beyond least for me. I discovered this while in the process of listing my limits in world. I came across a kink that, in sl, is offered in a fashion I had not thought possible.

For me, the very idea was so abhorrent, my aversion so strong, that when placing my limits in my profile...'emphatic' would be a mild word for describing my aversion to the activity. That does not mean that the people onto that activity are just means, it will not fit my particular needs.

In bdsm, (rl and sl) there is an us/them judgmental process that occurs. While we accept that one person's pain or humiliation is another's pleasure... there is a certain intolerance for some kinks. I am not talking about ones that could even be considered dangerous...the attitude is more of, "My kink is better then yours."

Here, where we can be anything we want... a fairy...a neko... a vampire... a Centaur ... a doll ...a furry .... ( I seem to have a personal affinity for the otters) Alts are often created by some who wish to explore some of the less accepted activities. Whatever form or need being explored by your avatar, the key is SSC. (Safe, Sane and consensual)

Safe~Physical safety is pretty much about as assured as you can get on sl , unless there is someone without any sense,(impaired) following the directions of another with as little sense, or at least lacking the sensibility to know or care about the danger.

Sane~Well... see the last statement...However, that said... Mental safety is still very much at risk. Remember there is a big red X in the corner, but sometimes, by the time that is used, the damage has already been done.

Consensual~ Consent is a tough one. Some say that by merely being here consent is implied. Some tout that to have consent all parties involved need to know everything about the other parties... or it is a lie. Does someone have to be fully informed they have a right to know everything about the person they are playing with to consent? Probably not. I reserve my information to a select few.
So what does this mean for me? (Since no one is free of preconceived notions, even me)
Hopefully, the next time I see someone with a Dolcett tag over his head I will try to remember that he is probably looking at my fairy wings with an *eye roll* and a shudder...because there is a good chance he is thinking his kink is SO MUCH better than mine.
(On the other hand, maybe...dessert?)