Sunday, April 26, 2009

My kink is better than yours!

Let's face it, we are all wired differently. What makes blood rush thru my veins at a great clip...could very well leave someone else cold. (I doubt it, but it could happen!) So many choices, so little time!
Checklists are available that cover almost every activity/kink imaginable...and some that are beyond least for me. I discovered this while in the process of listing my limits in world. I came across a kink that, in sl, is offered in a fashion I had not thought possible.

For me, the very idea was so abhorrent, my aversion so strong, that when placing my limits in my profile...'emphatic' would be a mild word for describing my aversion to the activity. That does not mean that the people onto that activity are just means, it will not fit my particular needs.

In bdsm, (rl and sl) there is an us/them judgmental process that occurs. While we accept that one person's pain or humiliation is another's pleasure... there is a certain intolerance for some kinks. I am not talking about ones that could even be considered dangerous...the attitude is more of, "My kink is better then yours."

Here, where we can be anything we want... a fairy...a neko... a vampire... a Centaur ... a doll ...a furry .... ( I seem to have a personal affinity for the otters) Alts are often created by some who wish to explore some of the less accepted activities. Whatever form or need being explored by your avatar, the key is SSC. (Safe, Sane and consensual)

Safe~Physical safety is pretty much about as assured as you can get on sl , unless there is someone without any sense,(impaired) following the directions of another with as little sense, or at least lacking the sensibility to know or care about the danger.

Sane~Well... see the last statement...However, that said... Mental safety is still very much at risk. Remember there is a big red X in the corner, but sometimes, by the time that is used, the damage has already been done.

Consensual~ Consent is a tough one. Some say that by merely being here consent is implied. Some tout that to have consent all parties involved need to know everything about the other parties... or it is a lie. Does someone have to be fully informed they have a right to know everything about the person they are playing with to consent? Probably not. I reserve my information to a select few.
So what does this mean for me? (Since no one is free of preconceived notions, even me)
Hopefully, the next time I see someone with a Dolcett tag over his head I will try to remember that he is probably looking at my fairy wings with an *eye roll* and a shudder...because there is a good chance he is thinking his kink is SO MUCH better than mine.
(On the other hand, maybe...dessert?)

1 comment:

  1. i think this is so well written. consent was almost impossible for me and only when everything clicked did i understand it at all. Reading this entry explains so much to me. When i feel safe, consent is so natural.