Why the RLV is not for this submissive...fairy or not...

This may cause a bit of controversy, but after all, a 'blog is just one person's humble opinion. This 'blog happens to be my humble opinion. So now I think I should say a bit about why the RLV is not for me.


For me, submission is the gift that keeps on giving. It is an ongoing process of something called a power exchange. Within the relationship, the giving is constant. As much as I love being dragged around on a leash or in other ways controlled in some manner. The fact that my consent is not longer needed cheapens it for me. For one thing, when I am being dragged around on a leash I relax and let the leash holder do the work. Why would I be any different in the RLV?


So, for me the RLV would have the same result... allowing me to relax and let the dominant do all of the work, in every aspect of the relationship. In giving up the need to follow direction, to have to act in order to obey, all meaning would eventually be lost for me. I have heard that being in the RLV is very relaxing for the submissive, taking away all of those pesky decisions. I have no doubt that I would like it, but it would make me lazy and if enough choices were made for me instead of my having to comply with those choices, actively..then my real submission, what makes me...well...me, would be lost.


To put it simply the difference between how I view submission and how those that enjoy the RLV is the same for me as the difference between active vs. passive submission.


Allow me to ask this question of a dominant...

Which would you prefer:

A. Press a button and have me kneeling at your feet or placing me in a cage, in some way directing my actions with a stroke of the keys. Would you like to cut off my ability to speak to someone that had displeased you or you thought was not good for me.

B. Direct my actions with a word or a flick of the wrist, and my actively complying with your whim or wishes. Would you like to tell me that I am not to speak to a person, consequentially, I place him/her on mute after informing them that my Master had instructed me to do so.

For me, the choice is clear...

It is up to you to make the choice for yourself.


I know that the RLV is not static and the control is on a scale from mild to extremely restrictive. So if I were with a Master who wished to use it or wanted to try it, I would. It is my dearest hope that he would continue to value my opinion in this matter.

Maybe the real difference comes from living in a rl D/s relationship. My submission is not something that can be controlled by a button, I must give myself each and every day. In sl, to truly be the submissive I am, I would have to do the same.

RLV~ One fairy's view ~ First an introduction...

First of all, I am not saying that the RLV is not for anyone in particular, just not for me. Please allow me to explain as simply as possible this intricate device. Be prepared, the explanation of the device may be longer than my explanation of why it is not for me. So in this post I will attempt to explain the workings of the RLV, in the next one I will explain my feelings about it.


The RLV~

The RLV is the Restrained Life Viewer. Originally created by Marine Kelley, it is a customized viewer that gives dominants a far greater level of control over their submissives. This modification of the second life viewer makes it possible for restrictions to be placed on subs that are simply not possible with the normal viewer.


Actually, just running the viewer makes the restrictions possible but nothing will happen unless you also wear an item that places restrictions on you.

With RLV restrictions IMs may be blocked, both incoming and outgoing, or IMs may only be allowed from certain individuals. It can block your ability to send or receive messages in chat. The effect? (Gag's, blindfolds and earplugs can now be 100% effective)


It can block the ability to send messages on alternate channels ...such as the use of emoters or other devices that relay text or accept commands(an exception list is possible.) There is a command that can also block the text from appearing over people's heads, in the chat window, so that the submissive may have no idea who they are talking to. If the dominant so chooses, you cannot open note cards. If you have note cards open when this is locked they will be closed at that time.


Sitting may be blocked, this is in two modes: you may not be able to SIT at all, or you must be within 1.5m of an item in order to SIT...or it can force sitting, locking you in place so you cannot stand, force you to sit on an item, no matter what your feelings are.


RLV can make any item undetachable, blocking the ability to wear clothes, allowing the dominant to forcibly remove clothes, or forcibly remove any attached item. There is a command that allows the owner to get a listing of all attachments and all clothes. This includes items attached to your hud. When an item is "locked"such as a collar you cannot unlock it or detach it, the menu options are gone, if you try to right click on them. Your inventory may be locked down so that you cannot open your inventory window. Marine Kelley also provides a free script that can be added to the contents of ANY item to give it the ability to be locked by the dominant.

Building may be blocked, as well as edit tools being locked and blocking the ability to rez objects.


Logins may be limited to your last location. So you cannot escape whatever predicament you may have been in by simply logging out then back in world in a different location..

The ability to TP may be blocked, or limited to specific landmarks, or allow you to TP only when invited by specific individuals. There is even a "force TP".. this feature allows the dominant to forcibly send the submissive anywhere in SL. No asking, no chance of complying or refusing, no discussion, just "poof" there you are, in the middle of a Gorean Sim, a nightclub, or a gangbang, at the whim of the dominant in control.

There are some really clever products designed to be used with the RLV...still, all choice is gone, with the RLV. Perfect for a bottom, but in my opinion, not for a submissive, at least not this one.



Why? I will explain soon...

Secret Spots...

Well, in my wanderings I have found some places that are refining the rp. Not certain how much they want known about them. So I will say that they are out there, developing storylines. and you can find them if you want!

Some are tucked away in small spots, sort of a hub from which to base RP from and go out into the Gorean world. Not everything is as it appears to be on these sims. Peaceful villages might conceal the most dastardly of characters!

So, grab a Gorean Meter, go out and explore!

GOR-addiction or what?

OK, I will say it here and in public. My name is Pippa and I like Gor. I think that some of the best RP occurs there. I happen to like the defined roles. This is a type of addiction that keeps drawing me back.

It is where I started in RP, before there was an SL. Gor is where I learned to crawl, to walk, and to crawl again, if needed. (RP wise that is)

I love the ritual, the clearly defined roles, the black and whiteness of it all.

That being said, I have been disillusioned by what I have seen on SL Gor. From my scant wanderings and from talking to a few people, I have had the impression of a bunch of exiles from World of Warcraft running around with weapons,calling each other bro. They seemed to be living in cities run by slaves, on every level, because Masters were too busy ...well running around playing with weapons. That said, I believe my impression may have been a hasty one.

Recently I have been persuaded that there are viable well run RP Gorean sims out there that are interested in intricate and well honed RP skills. Actually, I came to this realization since I participated in the Gorean Grid Wide hunt and had increased my exposure to more Goreans again. Now I am off in search of those sims. I am not sure that I am ready to give up my freedom and kneel as a Gorean slave.

However... a fairy can dream, can't she?

Gorean Grid Wide Hunt!

I spent some time last night following the Gorean hunt. Had stumbled upon it while shopping and decided to start at the beginning and follow the path where it led me. OK, once again I am astounded by the creativity of the people on sl!



I am only about a third of the way through, and I was lucky enough to hook up with a couple of other hunters... the more eyes the better, I always say! My favorite, so far has been a place that makes musical instruments! If you have the time, join in the fun!Hope I see you there!

On a side note:
Actually, I had started this hunt after running through the lag(insert a chuckle about the word running, here) at Twisted and Spoiled, for their hunt. Such cute things in that store! However the patrons had to strip themselved of any HUDs, prim objects (including some hair), and even tossed AOs so that they could actually move. What we women will do for a bargain! (I flatly refuse to lose the AO, myself)

These are my very first hunts, and I had fun! Have not opened any boxes yet, so not sure if it is worth the effort, but I did get to see some stores and some merchandise I did not know existed, so I think that the point is made. Try it sometime!

Both Sides of the Looking Glass

By chance, I was lucky enough to attend a talk lead by Havelock Raymaker, a RL Dominant and tutor for the organizers, the D/s Academy. The discussion was held partially in voice and partially in text, at first I had a few glitches, but after that was worked out I have to say that I was impressed by the speaker and the others attending. The topic? Is there such a thing as abuse in SL and if so what forms do you think it takes ?

The discussion reminded me of so many that I have been to in rl. I found the participants thoughtful, and reasonable. The original topic soon turned toward the responsibility of both parties in a D/s relationship. The care that is taken to keep the trust of the submissive from becoming abusive. The key being communication.

The talk was over far too soon! I am happy to have stumbled upon the meeting and hope to attend more in the future!

This Side of the Looking Glass

Every time I read something that is said by anyone on sl that they like this or that...some small part of me wonders if they have any rl experience with this particular activity. It is not always about D/s. There are a lot of other things as well.

So about me in rl:
I like Art museums, History Museums, Traveling, Chocolate Martinis, Dancing, Soft Jazz, Hard Rock, Massages, Manicures, Entire weekends of lovemaking, Eating popcorn in bed.

I do not like people that are mean-spirited, bullies or anyone who does not find it somewhere within themselves to find the tiniest amount of compassion.
Yes, in rl or even here, on sl.

In rl D/s:
I love long, long sessions that build 'till I am so deeply in subspace I do not know up from down, in from out, back from front...but ohhh my, I feel so safe and warm, and cared for that...only one thing exists for me there...nothing else can penetrate.

I have played both sides of the coin in rl, when I was learning where my heart truly resides. I still hear from the male submissives that I knew from that short period of my life. Sometimes, while on sl, I still explore my more dom side. But life, even an sl life, is too short to be something that you are not.

So that is me, I live what I talk about here. I know the pitfalls, and the peaks of ecstasy

Maybe I do not wear pixel wings here in rl, but I have been known to fly!

While I am on the subject of good dominants...

Last night, I happened to catch my good friend Jake after he had been toying with a submissive elsewhere. Now, he and I have a very playful relationship. However I have a slight tendency to push his buttons once in a while.Well, it seems that last night he was in more of a mood to push back and finally...I received a well-deserved spanking. I am not an owned submissive, I am not anyone's property, however last night I was totally in his thrall. I begged, pleaded, cajoled, bargained, whined, wheedled, squirmed, cried and tried everything else in my fairy bag of tricks...all to no avail.~Sighs, happily~ Sometimes a fairy just needs a good spanking. Even a sweet reasonable, level headed fairy, such as myself!

What makes a Dominant the wrong one for you?

I was recently in a discussion with a submissive about Dominants and the several that have offered her collars over the last few years. The subject turned to signs that the Dominant is not going to work for her. She said that one glaring sign was when a Dominant had picked out a collar for her and then told her to go buy it. Now that would pretty much do it for me, too!

What would be the light bulb moment for you? Or what are the signs of a bad Dominant either for you or for anyone?

In a more positive vein,send anything that would be a sign of someone being right for you. Or rather, what YOU see as the qualities of a "good" Dominant.

Please feel free to send your suggestions here or in notecards or Ims, I will be happy to compile and publish them later

Bubble dancing

I often recieve messages as notecards or IMs when I log into world, that are to do with this 'blog. It usually surprises me, since I assume that I am one of the 3 readers. The comment that I cherish the most was a quick IM complimenting the accuracy, and fairness of a recent, if not somewhat controversial couple of postings (I really do try to be sound unbiased.)
It is not as if I care if I upset a few people, because I find vitriolic diatribe so very tiresome. Something inside of me cannot help but point out the blatant inconsistency of slamming people with undercover alts when that same person not only has them, but threatens people with them as well. Comon, anyone coming from an RP background, would be used to people having several alts. It was not until I came to sl that I found that this was an issue.
Writing a 'blog is a bit like dancing on a bubble. Any moment those screeching contradiction of statements might poke through and all will *pop* There goes credibility! I am happy to tell readers how I think or feel. I just do not want anyone to think that if they do not agree with me, I will denigrate them in pixels. This is not a bully pulpit. It is strictly a chronicle of my journey through sl.

There is plenty of room for all of the choices we have. I think that we should stop worrying about what others are doing and just relax and have fun!

Oh and the bubbles that I am sitting on are available at a place called Happymood. You can find all sorts of delightfully fun objects for the well appointed fairy, nymph or just for fun !

My kink is better than yours!

Let's face it, we are all wired differently. What makes blood rush thru my veins at a great clip...could very well leave someone else cold. (I doubt it, but it could happen!) So many choices, so little time!
Checklists are available that cover almost every activity/kink imaginable...and some that are beyond imagination...at least for me. I discovered this while in the process of listing my limits in world. I came across a kink that, in sl, is offered in a fashion I had not thought possible.

For me, the very idea was so abhorrent, my aversion so strong, that when placing my limits in my profile...'emphatic' would be a mild word for describing my aversion to the activity. That does not mean that the people onto that activity are wrong...it just means, it will not fit my particular needs.

In bdsm, (rl and sl) there is an us/them judgmental process that occurs. While we accept that one person's pain or humiliation is another's pleasure... there is a certain intolerance for some kinks. I am not talking about ones that could even be considered dangerous...the attitude is more of, "My kink is better then yours."

Here, where we can be anything we want... a fairy...a neko... a vampire... a Centaur ... a doll ...a furry .... ( I seem to have a personal affinity for the otters) Alts are often created by some who wish to explore some of the less accepted activities. Whatever form or need being explored by your avatar, the key is SSC. (Safe, Sane and consensual)

Safe~Physical safety is pretty much about as assured as you can get on sl , unless there is someone without any sense,(impaired) following the directions of another with as little sense, or at least lacking the sensibility to know or care about the danger.

Sane~Well... see the last statement...However, that said... Mental safety is still very much at risk. Remember there is a big red X in the corner, but sometimes, by the time that is used, the damage has already been done.

Consensual~ Consent is a tough one. Some say that by merely being here consent is implied. Some tout that to have consent all parties involved need to know everything about the other parties... or it is a lie. Does someone have to be fully informed ...do they have a right to know everything about the person they are playing with to consent? Probably not. I reserve my information to a select few.
So what does this mean for me? (Since no one is free of preconceived notions, even me)
Hopefully, the next time I see someone with a Dolcett tag over his head I will try to remember that he is probably looking at my fairy wings with an *eye roll* and a shudder...because there is a good chance he is thinking his kink is SO MUCH better than mine.
(On the other hand, maybe...dessert?)

Follow the money~

Sighing here...Well now...it seems that someone , (probably one of the two people that read this 'blog) sent my little 'blogpost to the author that I referred to from my soap box as mean-spirited. So... this time I feel compelled to step thru the looking glass and turn my gaze in that direction once more.The only comment the 'blogger made regarding my post is to correct my assertion that she charges L$1000... actually she charges L$2000. PT Barnham was correct, there IS one born every minute! Since nothing else was said, one must assume that she has no issue with anything else included in my post. I am happy to be seen as accurate, thank you!


Now, as far as charging for her services, it is like anything else. Buyer beware!

Just remember that this is someone who presents herself as a submissive, and teaches people how to be Dominant or submissive, in private lessons, for a fee. Also, please remember that as far as anyone knows, she has been notably unsuccessful in that endeavor herself. (If past performance is any indication of the future, I am cringing.)


According to her own 'blog, in a little over a year, she has had three Masters, and has sold herself in her sim's auction, from the stage where she offers her free D/s lessons. This sale, to another trusted "Master" for a few of hours. In her Jan 3 post, after complaining that he was not paying enough attention to her, she announced--He released her in an IM during her class about how to find and keep a partner if I recall, correctly...(poetic or ironic?) According to her own words she left one Master twice, had another one in there for a short period of time, tried to reconcile with the other Master recently...arrrrghhhhh...Someone get a white board for me please? Oh yes, then there was the 72 hour Master just recently....she left him as well. Accompanied by the requisite 'blogpost.


Now I do not care what world you are speaking of, if you are rl or sl, a submissive does not leave a Master, then announce it to the world in a 'blog. She begs permission to leave. When it is granted, she does so. The only thing needed to be said at that point is that she is no longer in His collar, period. That is much simpler than D/s, it is just good manners. Why tell the world she left him unless she wants the world to see her as the one in control?





When writing this post, I noticed, the 'blogger recently removed the owner of the sim as her "Protector" and has someone new. I can only assume that this is to remove the "appearance" of being in his sway. They still have very close ties, and that sim is all about money. It is not anything to be ashamed of, the sim owner is not. He proudly proclaims that he has over 3 Gazillion sold! (ALA McDonalds.) He says that he will *win* the sim auction war. (I had not known that one was being waged, sorry.) He is every bit as proud of his financial motivation in selling slaves, as she is of doubling the price of her services, Just be very aware though, you do not always get what you pay for, ask the former customers of Bernie Madoff.



I have no problem with the 'blogger making money. I am lucky, I do not need to on sl. In that I am blessed. I do not feel the need to have 30+ 'blogs( Feb 24, 2009 post) or wear my 'blog address over my head in flashing red. I do not need to malign the work that others do for free everyday, in order to feed my own tender ego. I am a very, very, lucky girl. I have a real life and a Master that helps me to be happy and fulfilled. I have a sl that is fun and exciting with people I love dearly and enjoy being with as much as I can. Referring to what others are doing in sl as dangerous, when what they are doing is offering the same service as she, appears to be at the very least disingenuous.




My point is this, if taking lessons gives you a vocabulary that allows you to express yourself in a vernacular that has been foreign to you up to this point, that is not a bad thing. You can pay L$2000 to someone for this, $L100 for it, or go for free, to lessons and sites across the grid and over the internet. I have had people stop me when I am exploring and talk to me about it, and guess what, I did not charge a dime! Decide for yourself what is right for you. I am begging you to be an informed consumer. As my wise friend said, no one can teach you how to be left or right handed. You are either one or the other. It is the same with Dom or sub. You can pretend or kid yourself into thinking that you are something that you are not. You can fight it and remain unhappy. Some men are not Dominant or submissive, they might just be kinky vanilla guys. Some women are not either as well, but call themselves submissive so they can find a Dom to serve their needs without feeling they have betrayed feminism, by being kinky. Those women are not looking for a Dom, they need a "service top."



There are as many reasons and flavors available to you in D/s as there are people. The best advise that I can give you is this... and remember you are getting it for free...Find the key that fits your lock and relish in the experience and pleasure that is sure to come your way.



For now, I just want to get back to having fun~~

Clinic Madness!!

I had a crazy rl week, last week, with a lot of commitments. I know how boring that must be to most of you.

OK... both of you that actually take the time to read the 'blog. But I have had a wild ride in the last week, only to return to sl in a rush!

It was time to open the OB clinic on Nayeli. The design and build was by Jacobius Bravin. The clinic was furnished by your humble blogger. It is rumored that La Presidente may be visiting the site soon, for her first ultrasound. The location has been kept top secret!

Stay tuned!

Pippa Andretti, stepping through the looking glass to act as fairy Doctor, OBGYN to nymphs~

Soapbox Derby~

Hi, OK time for another rant…

So I am climbing on my soapbox and having my say!

I have been trying very, very, hard to stay out of controversy, but really. Sometimes some people are so blatant in their criticism of others it begs the question…
What is missing from this person’s life that they can be so mean spirited?






There is another 'blog that I shall not name. I have to say that most times I enjoy reading it. As a newcomer to sl, I find it informative about what there is to be offered to us on the grid. For me reading this 'blog is just one in a long list of sources for entertainment. I do not count on it for forming opinions, just as anyone here should form his/her own opinion, and not count on mine.
According to their 'blog, they recently went to a sim that offers a certification process, not DD but a different sim. I am not familiar with this sim, and have no idea about what is offered there or by whom.


However, the apparent issue was the fact that this sim offered certification.
Now, certification is defined as: A document attesting that a person or organization meets minimum standards or qualifications in a specified area. Usually issued by an organization with recognized expertise in the area.








In rl I deal daily with Professional Licensure, Registration, and Certification. Any and all of this documentation is only as good as the organization, licensing body, or in this case, group issuing it. Which is why a Curriculum Vitae is important. A Curriculum vitae is a summary of your academic and work history, A written account of one's life comprising one's education, accomplishments, work experience, publications, etc. It can also be defined as a personal history of one’s education, professional history and job qualifications with a strong emphasis on specific skills relating to the position being applied for.


BTW, This same "blogger" has just recently rolled out a certification of her own. (actually in RP) By her own words, she is not affiliated with any organization or Sim. Note- Certification is a document issued by an organization (meaning more than one person) Also noted that as far as I know she has never been certified in RP herself, or at least she does not offer that as a qualification.

She does, however, offer classes on a sim that sells products and slaves and is a Barker for the auction house owned by that sim. Though her classes are for free, the attendees are reminded aggressively (dare I say bullied?) to tip, by the sim owner and single female attendees are often approached to become stock and subsequently offered for auction by the sim. She also sells her services for L$1000….to be taught how to be or supposedly to act like a Dom or sub. Not that she has any rl experience, that she has ever spoken of. Her own submissive Ramo, failed to garner any bids, on two separate occasions, when offered on the block at that same auction house... Another former student taught in private lessons to be a submissive suffered the same fate at a different auction. (Not the best of recommendations, IMHO)

With that established, I would have to say that I understand why anyone that she approaches in the attempt to “pass through” their certification system would greet her with suspicion and derision. Now she threatens to squeak through the system in a guise of the intrepid reporter. It is, after all, "her job."

So now, we have a self proclaimed wannabe (see the March 14, 2009 posting of her 'blog) Without rl experience declaring a system she has not attended dangerous?


Maybe she is right…who knows?
All we have now are her words, born of her own twisted imagination.

Safe words

So ...

I have been working on my limits here on sl. One of the things that I had to remember is my safe word.

My safeword is "Mercy"

Interesting choice, some have said, because it might be taken as "merci" The french word for thank you.

I prefer to think it means, "Thank you, I have had quite enough, for now"

Here in SL, safe words are really meant to keep us safe, not physically... but emotionally... spiritually...psychologically. One can be as traumatized here as anywhere else.

Part of SSC is trying to keep that from happening.
More on Safe Sane and Consensual in a later post.

In rl I live in a RACK household. My Master is well aware of my limits and my mindset. These have been learned over time and the trust that I have is complete Hence, I have not felt the need for Mercy, nor has he expected to hear my safe word in a very, very long time.

I do have another problem. I slip into subspace so easily, it would be difficult or me to know that it is time to safeword. So there have been times when he was aware that we were at a point where play should stop, even when I was not aware of it at the time. Tell me, why would I not trust him completely now?

How does one stop that in SL? I am not sure that I want to. Just want to be certain that the person I am with is trustworthy and responsible.

Actually, that is good advice on both sides of the mirror...

That's the limit!

I was reminded recently that I need to place my limits in my profile, but I was also reminded that not all limits are things that you can state at all, simply because I may not be aware of them as possibilities.

There are things that can be done in sl that really I cannot imagine being possible in rl. Though with a little imagination, I guess... some of it might be possible?

Knowledge, it is a good thing but also what got Eve the bad rep. I have a few questions before I start to place my limits in my profile.

Am I supposed to know about all of the possible kinks to put them on a list?

What do I do if I do encounter one that I am not aware of?

There are ways of taking care of these things.

~~Safewords~~

For the love of rope...

Rope..gotta love it! I was giving a tour last night of the most beautiful place! It is a house of shibari created by Ma'am's slut.

This house is a place of grace and beauty. Something well worth seeing and experiencing. Slut has really outdone herself this time!

The house is only open to the Certified Role players of the Dark Den...So if you are a member of the Certified RP group or if you are a guest of a member...do not pass the opportunity to experience it! The ropes look better on a naked body, but I was not with Ma'am at the time.

On a side note... about rl rope bondage...

Rope bondage is something that I dearly love in real life. I love the beauty of the ropes as well as the physical restraint. There are several legitimate sites that offer Dojos or classes in the fine art. At just such a class you will learn which ropes work for which purposes, and how to practice in a safe sane and consentual environment.

I must say, the purists tend to like hemp...I do not. But it is a matter of both asthetic tastes and ...

OK, let's be honest... hemp just does not slip as easily as rope so usually someone in my particular position...which do you think that I would prefer?

What not to wear....

One of the first conversations that I had when I came to DD was with a Master who mentioned that he could tell that I was not there for sex. It was obvious from my dress it seems. Long ago, I was taught not to display what was not offered and I had kept to the rule for the most part.

Now, I run amok with Ma’am, in the dress she prefers. A belt. It is my acquiescence to her wishes.

However, if you see me without her around you will usually notice that I am dressed or following the dress code of Nayeli. Not an open invitation, to anyone...it is simply what is preferred.

BDSM 101~ A bit of a rant

Sighing here, and thinking that this is a good time to say this, since I am convinced that very few read this BLOG. Hopefully, it should not stir anyones pot, toooo much.

So here goes...

This is not aimed at anyone in particular. There are several people that claim to "teach" others about how to be a submissive or how to be Dominant. Recently, I read a disclaimer from one teacher, that her particular lessons are aimed at people interested in the bdsm lifestyle in sl, only. I do not have a problem with learning about D/s in sl. However, please allow me to be perfectly clear about my personal feelings about teaching someone to be a Dom or sub.(Excuse the caps.)

THIS CAN NOT BE TAUGHT!

You either are or you aren't. Period.

I had expressed this to someone, not to long ago, and she agreed, being much more eloquent than I in her assessment. "It is like teaching someone to be left-handed or right-handed. You are either one or the other."

Maybe I am too much of a purest about being submissive, but I have strong feelings about the trust that exists within the power exchange.

Allow me to tell you a quick story.When I first came to sl, a man, approached me, he self-identified as a Dominant. He was actually very nice, but i was abit rankled when told me that he "knew" what it was to be sub. "Interesting," I thought. When I asked him how he knew knew this... he mentioned that he had had lessons. When asked how many lessons it took for him to acquire this knowledge. He said it was about 10. (I cringed)

I think that you can teach someone to "act" submissive or Dominant. I do not think that you can teach someone to "be" such.

Take a look in the mirror, what do you see?

End of rant~