Saturday, August 8, 2009

RL has taken me away

I am sorry but due to rl family illness I am finding it hard to get back to sl at all.

As a matter of fact they had changed the way I access my blog and I did not wish to take the time to do this.

But I am back in a limited capacity..
Hopefully I will provide a voice of reason to our sl lives..well for me at least!

Friday, July 3, 2009

Forgive me

I have been away for a couple of weeks from blogging and from SL due to some RL issues. I now have the opportunity to return and I hope that both people that read this 'blog will forgive my absence.

While I was gone to the RL that we all say comes first, I found that those people that I know in SL were not far from my thoughts. I had a chance to think of what I wanted to do with the precious time that I have to spend in SL, because for me the time is rare. and special.

I have wandered around SL and shopped and tried out new things. I have watched for the last six months and I have discovered that I have been talking about things, talking about the difference between rl and sl, but sl I have been a voyeur. I have always been suspicious about voyeurs, believing them to be people that want the reflected glory without getting their hands dirty. My conclusion? What I have managed to do as well was to cheat myself. To deprive myself of experiences by just watching and not participating.

This realization came to me when I wandered onto a sim, wearing a meter in OOC mode to watch the RP. What I walked into was a firefight of some sort. Just watching I had an adrenaline rush and I thought...why am I just watching? Why am I not a part of this?

I have struggled with the moral issue of wearing 2 collars, one in rl and one in sl and have for so long thought that this dichotomy would be far too difficult for me to resolve. Turns out the issue is far easier to resolve than I thought. I spoke with my rl Master. I have parameters, (no rl, ever)

For months I have criticized those who teach about bdsm in SL without any real knowledge of rl bdsm. I have gone to their lectures and classes and noticed that those I could relate to had their roots, their knowledge in RL. They were able to enjoy SL as full participants, why couldn't I?

In rl ,if I wanted to learn to sail, I did, to play tennis, I did, to play golf I did(bored to tears, but I did.) What has been holding me back from divng in to sl and truly experiencing it to its fullest extent? Maybe a fear of failure, maybe a fear of drowning...maybe I just was not ready. Maybes ...rl and sl are full of them...Maybe I should just find out.

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

A bit of a rest~

I recently ran into my friend Jake. Neither of us have been in world much and the times that we have did not coincide. Imagine my delight when I had the opportunity to spend time with him?

We had some time exploring a few sims,just cuddled and talked...
Frankly, I needed that...even fairys need a a place to rest aside from a flower.

Sunday, June 14, 2009

Why the RLV is not for this submissive...fairy or not...

This may cause a bit of controversy, but after all, a 'blog is just one person's humble opinion. This 'blog happens to be my humble opinion. So now I think I should say a bit about why the RLV is not for me.

For me, submission is the gift that keeps on giving. It is an ongoing process of something called a power exchange. Within the relationship, the giving is constant. As much as I love being dragged around on a leash or in other ways controlled in some manner. The fact that my consent is not longer needed cheapens it for me. For one thing, when I am being dragged around on a leash I relax and let the leash holder do the work. Why would I be any different in the RLV?

So, for me the RLV would have the same result... allowing me to relax and let the dominant do all of the work, in every aspect of the relationship. In giving up the need to follow direction, to have to act in order to obey, all meaning would eventually be lost for me. I have heard that being in the RLV is very relaxing for the submissive, taking away all of those pesky decisions. I have no doubt that I would like it, but it would make me lazy and if enough choices were made for me instead of my having to comply with those choices, actively..then my real submission, what makes, would be lost.

To put it simply the difference between how I view submission and how those that enjoy the RLV is the same for me as the difference between active vs. passive submission.

Allow me to ask this question of a dominant...

Which would you prefer:

A. Press a button and have me kneeling at your feet or placing me in a cage, in some way directing my actions with a stroke of the keys. Would you like to cut off my ability to speak to someone that had displeased you or you thought was not good for me.

B. Direct my actions with a word or a flick of the wrist, and my actively complying with your whim or wishes. Would you like to tell me that I am not to speak to a person, consequentially, I place him/her on mute after informing them that my Master had instructed me to do so.

For me, the choice is clear...

It is up to you to make the choice for yourself.

I know that the RLV is not static and the control is on a scale from mild to extremely restrictive. So if I were with a Master who wished to use it or wanted to try it, I would. It is my dearest hope that he would continue to value my opinion in this matter.

Maybe the real difference comes from living in a rl D/s relationship. My submission is not something that can be controlled by a button, I must give myself each and every day. In sl, to truly be the submissive I am, I would have to do the same.

Friday, June 12, 2009

RLV~ One fairy's view ~ First an introduction...

First of all, I am not saying that the RLV is not for anyone in particular, just not for me. Please allow me to explain as simply as possible this intricate device. Be prepared, the explanation of the device may be longer than my explanation of why it is not for me. So in this post I will attempt to explain the workings of the RLV, in the next one I will explain my feelings about it.

The RLV~

The RLV is the Restrained Life Viewer. Originally created by Marine Kelley, it is a customized viewer that gives dominants a far greater level of control over their submissives. This modification of the second life viewer makes it possible for restrictions to be placed on subs that are simply not possible with the normal viewer.

Actually, just running the viewer makes the restrictions possible but nothing will happen unless you also wear an item that places restrictions on you.

With RLV restrictions IMs may be blocked, both incoming and outgoing, or IMs may only be allowed from certain individuals. It can block your ability to send or receive messages in chat. The effect? (Gag's, blindfolds and earplugs can now be 100% effective)

It can block the ability to send messages on alternate channels ...such as the use of emoters or other devices that relay text or accept commands(an exception list is possible.) There is a command that can also block the text from appearing over people's heads, in the chat window, so that the submissive may have no idea who they are talking to. If the dominant so chooses, you cannot open note cards. If you have note cards open when this is locked they will be closed at that time.

Sitting may be blocked, this is in two modes: you may not be able to SIT at all, or you must be within 1.5m of an item in order to SIT...or it can force sitting, locking you in place so you cannot stand, force you to sit on an item, no matter what your feelings are.

RLV can make any item undetachable, blocking the ability to wear clothes, allowing the dominant to forcibly remove clothes, or forcibly remove any attached item. There is a command that allows the owner to get a listing of all attachments and all clothes. This includes items attached to your hud. When an item is "locked"such as a collar you cannot unlock it or detach it, the menu options are gone, if you try to right click on them. Your inventory may be locked down so that you cannot open your inventory window. Marine Kelley also provides a free script that can be added to the contents of ANY item to give it the ability to be locked by the dominant.

Building may be blocked, as well as edit tools being locked and blocking the ability to rez objects.

Logins may be limited to your last location. So you cannot escape whatever predicament you may have been in by simply logging out then back in world in a different location..

The ability to TP may be blocked, or limited to specific landmarks, or allow you to TP only when invited by specific individuals. There is even a "force TP".. this feature allows the dominant to forcibly send the submissive anywhere in SL. No asking, no chance of complying or refusing, no discussion, just "poof" there you are, in the middle of a Gorean Sim, a nightclub, or a gangbang, at the whim of the dominant in control.

There are some really clever products designed to be used with the RLV...still, all choice is gone, with the RLV. Perfect for a bottom, but in my opinion, not for a submissive, at least not this one.

Why? I will explain soon...

Wednesday, June 10, 2009

Secret Spots...

Well, in my wanderings I have found some places that are refining the rp. Not certain how much they want known about them. So I will say that they are out there, developing storylines. and you can find them if you want!

Some are tucked away in small spots, sort of a hub from which to base RP from and go out into the Gorean world. Not everything is as it appears to be on these sims. Peaceful villages might conceal the most dastardly of characters!

So, grab a Gorean Meter, go out and explore!

Monday, June 8, 2009

For my friends...

I did not realize until shortly after my last posting about Gor that I would get feedback so very fast.

Several people immediately felt that my posting meant that I may be in search of a Gorean collar. I was surprised by this. After having said, so many times, that I have a problem with being in the collar of different people, in different worlds. (rl/sl)


As much as I have loved being on Gor in the past, I am not sure that it is possible for me to be a woman on Gor without wearing a collar of some sort. Well, I have no interest in being a FW or a Panther, and I certainly have no interest in changing my gender! I put so much of myself into the role that I play, even in RP that it can be a bit disturbing, and is not simply a game where I am disengaged from the avi.

For the moment, I am wandering around Gor, when I have the chance. I am not sure where any of this will lead. One thing I learned long ago is never to say never. However, at the moment I like who I am, and where I am, so it is highly unlikely that I would want to change anything about my circumstance.

Saturday, June 6, 2009

GOR-addiction or what?

OK, I will say it here and in public. My name is Pippa and I like Gor. I think that some of the best RP occurs there. I happen to like the defined roles. This is a type of addiction that keeps drawing me back.

It is where I started in RP, before there was an SL. Gor is where I learned to crawl, to walk, and to crawl again, if needed. (RP wise that is)

I love the ritual, the clearly defined roles, the black and whiteness of it all.

That being said, I have been disillusioned by what I have seen on SL Gor. From my scant wanderings and from talking to a few people, I have had the impression of a bunch of exiles from World of Warcraft running around with weapons,calling each other bro. They seemed to be living in cities run by slaves, on every level, because Masters were too busy ...well running around playing with weapons. That said, I believe my impression may have been a hasty one.

Recently I have been persuaded that there are viable well run RP Gorean sims out there that are interested in intricate and well honed RP skills. Actually, I came to this realization since I participated in the Gorean Grid Wide hunt and had increased my exposure to more Goreans again. Now I am off in search of those sims. I am not sure that I am ready to give up my freedom and kneel as a Gorean slave.

However... a fairy can dream, can't she?

Thursday, June 4, 2009

I give up!!

Well, I tried and tried to find some man that I know to go through this hunt with me...but NOOOO!

It seems that for the most part, Dominants resent the idea of being made over. Some flatly refused, others were a bit more diplomatic about it.

It happens I do not know any submissive men, not because I do not want to. I just seem to be the sort of girl that attracts and is drawn toward Dominants...

So I came to this conclusion:

I love/like the people that I do because of who they are and part of who they are happens to the choices that they have made. That includes clothing, attachments, skin, shape, etc. Those unique choices and combinations are what make them who they are...

I am not a switch, and I most certainly am not looking for a Dom that will serve my needs or wants...

Why fight it?

It is not like most of them need it anyway...

Wednesday, June 3, 2009

What IS real life? (Defining terms)

I have heard this question or debate from several different quarters lately. This is usually paired with, but many times independent of, the oft seen phrase of sl is sl, and rl comes first. So please allow me to define what the term rl means me as well as to most of the people that I have known, in and out of world.

RL(real life) interaction takes place between 2 people, at least, who are physically in the same room. It includes RL obligations like SO(significant Other), bills, career, school, etc. There is not other way to mean RL.

What is sometimes used as an alternate definition of RL is the RL exchange that occurs with 2 people, or more, are involved in a long distance relationships. This is in no way a less valid relationship, however it does not fit the definition of a RL relationship. An LD (long distance) relationship may involve following rl directions.

Following RL directions takes place when 2 people, who may be separated by miles, time zones, or even hemispheres interact, and one is following the directions of the other in real time, either in voice or text.(sometimes cam, which carries many risks BTW)

SL or VR (Virtual Reality) is still interaction between real people in real time. However, it may be taking place between 2 people that are both in the moment, OR one/both people are simply playing a role. This would be more akin to a pure RP scenario than honest rl emotional exchange and investment of one person to another.

Does this mean that the bonds formed, the love that develops, the caring or anger that exists when in sl or vr is any less real? Not one bit! The impact that I feel, the emotional attachments, even love that develops between people on-line is very, very real.

But if I say that I live in a rl 24/7 relationship, that means still the physical presence of the 2 people involved. Please make no mistake about this. This is the commonly accepted definition.

What I have offered is strictly a definition of terms, but sometimes the discussions involving rl vs sl can be so confusing, I felt compelled to clearly deliniate between the levels of involvement.

Monday, June 1, 2009

A sigh of relief...

I have not been on line much lately. Only in short bursts. Devil of it is that rl sometimes really does come first, grrrrrr.

Imagine my surprise when I notice that my close friend Jake has placed a girl in his profile as “interesting” Actually, I think that he referred to "hidden depths". I was struck with a pang when I read that. What was the pang, I wondered? Surely, not jealousy?? I have prided myself on not being jealous. But could it be?

Actually it was not anger with him or the girl that struck me, it was a sense of loss. He has taught me so much, been so kind to me that I did not want that to stop. He has held me when I was confused and helped me to gain some perspective on my life in sl. OK yes, he has spanked me when I needed that too!

What do I care about other women? I never have before, (and there is a cast of thousands)why would I now?

I gathered myself together and sent an IM to him, though he was not on-line. The next time he was, evidently, I received a message from him (sort of a high tech fone tag?) The jist is that his on-line time has been curtailed and will be for a while, as well. Yes, there is a girl, but that has nothing to do with, and will not interfere with, his relationships with me or the other people who are so special to him. (Well I am paraphrasing, but that was the drift)

Now I can relax and return to my fairy ways, when I am able to be in world again, more often. I miss the people I care about so much. The are like rare gems that sparkle in the moonlight…precious to me. I just hope that they know how much they mean to me

Thursday, May 28, 2009

Me too!

For the first time I altered one of my posts. It was pointed out to me that I was being unfair, and I have to agree. Seems I have been a cranky fairy as of late. Blame it on being sick in rl couch* cough*. Whatever the reason there is no excuse. I beg your pardon. Back to more positive posts in the future!...Now for my amended offering...

Recently, I attended another class at the D/s academy, the subject being poly, and how each participant was handling it. There were more combinations than you would have thought possible. When a Dominant is dealing with more than one girl, it is a delicate balance. Both in rl and in sl.
A Master or Dom handling more than one girl has many problems that may crop up. Sometimes it is a simple matter of personalities not meshing, sometimes it is much more insidious. There is a particular type of submissive that I like to call the "me too" I would like to address in this post.
"Me too" submissives tout their individuality, they want to be treated as the special person that they are. Nothing wrong with that right? Ahh, but here is the catch! They do not want the same for the other girl that may be in the relationship. In other words, she wishes to be treated uniquely, but also wishes to have whatever treatment given to her sister, bestowed upon her...a nearly impossible task unless dealing with a clone.
The dominant has the very difficult task of trying to balance the submissives in his care. It is not that I feel sympathy for his plight. However I do empathize. A "me too" may also me called, "MeMeMe" and is little more than a cleverly disguised passive aggressive manipulator in submissive gear.

She may be difficult to spot, because she usually tells all and sundry what a wonderful submissive she is. So here is a clue:
If she discovers that you have something that you share with another submissive in your care and she insists that the exact same is done for her...she is a "me too submissive"

Only advice I have for a Dom meeting this sub is this: Buyer beware!

(PS I am NOT a Me too submissive...I promise!)

An original!

I am often told about different designers on sl. Most of the time they are very nice but not unusually so. Not so with this one.

Her work is nothing short of beautiful. Not limited to just one or two outfits, I would be hard pressed to say that there was anything that I did not like.
(All of the wings are my own, except for the first set, called the beaded fairy) This is not a fairy designer. More of a designer of dresses you would wear while starring in your own fairy tale!

If you have a chance, stop by and see her work! There is much more than I have touched on here...

Tuesday, May 26, 2009

The hunt is on!!

Well,it took a bit longer than I thought it would, but I finally embarked on the Looking Glass Hunt!

I am sure that I am not meant to be a hunter, (I seem to be much more naturally hunted, if you know what I mean?) Soooo... this may be the last hunt for me for a while. My eyes ache from scanning for tiny mirrors!

I find that I never open the boxes, and frankly the thought of the people that litter boxes all over the stores of the participants infuriates me!

Oops, looks like I need to go to bed, I seem to be getting a tiny bit cranky! (For a fairy, at least)

The creativity of people on SL STILL amazes me to no end! Try this hunt, it is not easy, but well, nothing worth having ever is, is it?

Monday, May 25, 2009

The Looking Glass

OK know I HAVE to do this one!!

Well it is a holiday weekend, and the weather is pretty why not join me?

Sunday, May 24, 2009

Traveling Artisan

I had some pics taken today.

It was at a place called Traveling Artisan. I met with Daron Brandeis and his partner Fallon Maertens. This was one of the places that I discovered when on the Gorean Grid Wide Hunt. He has an artist's eye, and on a personal note, I really liked both Daron and Fallon!

What do you think?

Gorean Grid Wide Hunt ends...

Well , today was the last day of the Gorean Grid Wide Hunt. What great fun it was!

I searched high and low for the hearts with the quiva through them. (Barely a stone ,or should I say homestone?) was left unturned.
The group was a great help and I just want to thank those that put it together and those that participated for a totally fun experience! I made new friends and met some interesting people along the way that I would like to get to know better!

I have some new favorite places to add to my list. I will not mention them yet, but I shall let you know about them very soon!

I am looking forward to the next hunt...something about a Looking Glass? How can I resist?

Friday, May 22, 2009

Drama, drama and then ...more drama?

So here I am, back in world. There were various reasons for my being gone, but suffice it to say that I am happy to have returned! I sometimes forget about the drama in sl and what drama it is!

That being said, I just want to say this as well. If I go to a sim, paid for, supported by, built by, and maintained by someone, I do so at his/her whim. Not because I have a divine right to be there.

If I have in some way displeased or upset the person that owns that sim, then why in the world would I wish to stay? I just do not understand, perhaps someone would enlighten me?

I, for one, would not wish to stay where I am not wanted. Now I realize that that is unlikely to happen, but no matter how remote the possibility, no matter how charming and delightful I might think that I am. It is possible.

Tantrums, performed by vindictive, petty people... no matter how justified they feel that they are, are still that, the screaming demonstrations of frustration, hurt, and pain of an emotionally immature individual.

My advice? Grow up, leave, and move on with your life.
You will have much more fun that way and so will everyone else!

Tuesday, May 19, 2009

Missing you...

It has been a very busy time in my real life, and what I have found bizarre is the number of dreams that have invaded my sleep from my second well as the nature of those dreams. I have not had the chance to be here, consciously, so something took me to sl in my dreams.

  I have not met a person here on sl that does not say rl comes first.  Does this negate the need that we have for the interactions that we have here on sl? I think not.  Nor does it keep us from missing the people that are here.

While away, I sent an e-mail to the only person that I thought would miss me here.  When I did not hear back, after a couple of e-mails, I stopped sending them.  Perhaps, we invest too much emotionally in our sl relationships.  But there it is.

Who's a needy fairy?

I am the person that I am, I have a very busy rl at times.  Other times I have more time to get on-line.  Exploring on sl is what I try to do with much of that time.  At the time I started this venture I did not expect relationships that would garner so much of my attention. Being independant is important to me. But it seems to come at a price. Right now, though I struggle with that, it is well worth it.

Respect is the best foundation for all relationships whether or not they are D/s. We love who we love in all worlds. If they love us back or how they love us back is their own business. I respect those I love, and i realize and accept that we all relate differently. My only hope is that those I love will allow the same for me.

Wednesday, May 13, 2009

Gorean Grid Wide Hunt!

I spent some time last night following the Gorean hunt. Had stumbled upon it while shopping and decided to start at the beginning and follow the path where it led me. OK, once again I am astounded by the creativity of the people on sl!

I am only about a third of the way through, and I was lucky enough to hook up with a couple of other hunters... the more eyes the better, I always say! My favorite, so far has been a place that makes musical instruments! If you have the time, join in the fun!Hope I see you there!

On a side note:
Actually, I had started this hunt after running through the lag(insert a chuckle about the word running, here) at Twisted and Spoiled, for their hunt. Such cute things in that store! However the patrons had to strip themselved of any HUDs, prim objects (including some hair), and even tossed AOs so that they could actually move. What we women will do for a bargain! (I flatly refuse to lose the AO, myself)

These are my very first hunts, and I had fun! Have not opened any boxes yet, so not sure if it is worth the effort, but I did get to see some stores and some merchandise I did not know existed, so I think that the point is made. Try it sometime!

Sunday, May 10, 2009

Both Sides of the Looking Glass

By chance, I was lucky enough to attend a talk lead by Havelock Raymaker, a RL Dominant and tutor for the organizers, the D/s Academy. The discussion was held partially in voice and partially in text, at first I had a few glitches, but after that was worked out I have to say that I was impressed by the speaker and the others attending. The topic? Is there such a thing as abuse in SL and if so what forms do you think it takes ?

The discussion reminded me of so many that I have been to in rl. I found the participants thoughtful, and reasonable. The original topic soon turned toward the responsibility of both parties in a D/s relationship. The care that is taken to keep the trust of the submissive from becoming abusive. The key being communication.

The talk was over far too soon! I am happy to have stumbled upon the meeting and hope to attend more in the future!

Saturday, May 9, 2009

Mirror images

Wow, I have had more than a few comments, in IM, about my last post when I last logged on. Let me be clear, about something. I am not denigrating sl Master/slave relationships. There is a clear bond between this sort of meeting of the minds. However, if you are someone that is acting out submission without ever having knelt at someone's feet. how do you know how that truly feels? You and I sit here, behind the safety of a screen.For example, I was told once of a wedding on sl where the bride interrupted the ceremony with something like ((brb, my Ramen noodles are ready)) You tell me, how committed was she?

When I am here, rping that I am being tied to a post,spoken to in a certain manner, and then I am spanked, used or whatever...I have a very real visceral memory/connection to the real life experience and my response to the scene is multiplied exponentially. I understand, without doubt, what it takes to place myself in the hands of someone who has me helpless, and in his/her thrall.

I also know what it is like to live the experience 24/7. There are dimensions that I never could have imagined, had I not lived through them in rl. There are many tests to this sort of relationship, since it is not accepted conventionally, it remains under wraps. I have been called an anticipatory slave. "Thoughtful" is the vanilla word for it, I think. Vanilla friends have expressed concern at my "submissive" attitude. Please know that the most important word in a D/s relationship, is relationship. Maybe this is why I do not seek or wear a collar. I dearly love the people that I interact here, but I wonder if I am able to wear two collars? I know that people have a marriage in the real world and one here on sl, but is that me? For now I am content the way things are.

So if you are strictly in an sl relationship, please do not feel defensive or think that I mean that you are less committed. What I am saying is this... There are dimensions to your psyche that you cannot explore from behind a desk. For me, it was so much better to push off from the dock and set sail on an ocean of discovery , exploring in ways I had only imagined until then. That was the right course for me, it is up to you to choose the path for you.

BTW, from the day I met my Master, I have not played in rl with anyone other than him.

Friday, May 8, 2009

This Side of the Looking Glass

Every time I read something that is said by anyone on sl that they like this or that...some small part of me wonders if they have any rl experience with this particular activity. It is not always about D/s. There are a lot of other things as well.

So about me in rl:
I like Art museums, History Museums, Traveling, Chocolate Martinis, Dancing, Soft Jazz, Hard Rock, Massages, Manicures, Entire weekends of lovemaking, Eating popcorn in bed.

I do not like people that are mean-spirited, bullies or anyone who does not find it somewhere within themselves to find the tiniest amount of compassion.
Yes, in rl or even here, on sl.

In rl D/s:
I love long, long sessions that build 'till I am so deeply in subspace I do not know up from down, in from out, back from front...but ohhh my, I feel so safe and warm, and cared for that...only one thing exists for me there...nothing else can penetrate.

I have played both sides of the coin in rl, when I was learning where my heart truly resides. I still hear from the male submissives that I knew from that short period of my life. Sometimes, while on sl, I still explore my more dom side. But life, even an sl life, is too short to be something that you are not.

So that is me, I live what I talk about here. I know the pitfalls, and the peaks of ecstasy

Maybe I do not wear pixel wings here in rl, but I have been known to fly!

Thursday, May 7, 2009

Some nice down time...

While my rl has been so very busy, the few times I have managed to squeeze into world, I am just happy to spent a precious minute or two with a friend, just relaxing...

A drama free zone indeed!!

Well, for now...